dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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