nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
