he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just threw up on my dentist
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
