Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
