The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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