You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
