is your mom at the bar?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
