So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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