Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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