just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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