How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
