Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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