he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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