OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize