Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
