farters have to be the big spoon...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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