so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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