I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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