I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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