Small penises have feelings too.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
