She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
