Midget sex pt 2 tonight
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
