note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
