So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
