i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
