this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
