Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
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