So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
