I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
