I just made out with a guy for $7.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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