My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize