Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
