actually, I'm a sock model
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
