Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
