i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
