why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
