apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
