yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
smell my finger.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
