Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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