12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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