Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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