so that wasnt chicken after all
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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