yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
