it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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