"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize