i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i've created a new STD.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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