I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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