i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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