I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
