i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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