Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
