i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
