His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It was like getting head from an anaconda
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
