Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize