nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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