Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he puts the penis in happiness.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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