I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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