the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
