He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Couch. On fire.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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