I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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