I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
