once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
