Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
