My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
