I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just invented taco cereal.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
