Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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