no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
