Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
