I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
